Why Your Cardinals Suck

Deadspin’s Drew Magary on why the Cardinals suck

I think Yankees fans are horrible people: selfish, arrogant, profane, and miserable all at once. But at least they don’t attempt to hide their repulsiveness. At least there isn’t this deliberate, “Oh, we’re not like those OTHER fans” fakeness that OOZES from the Cardinals and their acolytes. Wanna know who you really are, Cardinals fans? You are this. You are poorly disguised Yankees fans in ugly Christmas sweaters carrying a Jell-O mold to your neighbor’s door. And your constant attempts to turn every October into an extended production of Our Town makes me want to hang myself with a extension cord.

Frequently hilarious and frequently true. There’s a reason he’s not writing this article about Blue Jays fans. Take it as a compliment.